Carpet Capital News
NWGA's most trusted source for untrustworthy news.
GA-14 VOTER BOARDS UP BATHROOM DOOR AFTER SHAWN HARRIS APPEARS ON ANOTHER BALLOT
DALTON, GA — A Georgia 14th District voter has barricaded himself in his bathroom after learning that Shawn Harris is…
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RIOTS ERUPT AT CHATTANOOGA’S OUI OUI BOULANGERIE IN SOLIDARITY WITH FRANCE
CHATTANOOGA, TN — What began as an ordinary morning of coffee, croissants, and artisanal bread descended into revolutionary chaos Tuesday…
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CARTERSVILLE UNVEILS TREVOR LAWRENCE THROWBACK UNIFORMS, COACH INSISTS WIGS ARE “PART OF THE DAMN UNIFORM”
The uniforms pay tribute to the former Hurricanes quarterback, although the coach reportedly rejected the initial designs because they focused…
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GLENDA MITCHELL DRESSES AS BILLBOARD, HAUNTS NORTH GEORGIA NEIGHBORHOOD
CARTERSVILLE, GA — With Halloween still days away, local children are already reporting frightening encounters after personal injury attorney Glenda…
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Dalton Signs With Falcons, Murray Snubbed
ATLANTA, GA — The Atlanta Falcons announced Monday that Dalton has officially joined the organization, a move that immediately raised…
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CRITICS SLAM CHATTANOOGA PRIDE EVENT FOR BEING ‘TOO GAY’
CHATTANOOGA, TN — Chattanooga’s annual Pride Festival has become the center of a growing controversy after several critics accused the…
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GHSA INVESTIGATES DALTON HIGH FOR EXCESSIVE BIG BLACK UNIFORM ENERGY
DALTON, GA — The Georgia High School Association has reportedly launched an emergency investigation into Dalton High School’s football program…
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CARPET CAPITAL NEWS FILES OPEN RECORDS REQUEST AFTER EXPLOSIVE HOLIDAY SCHEDULE LEAK
DALTON, GA — In what newsroom leadership is calling “our biggest investigation since discovering the courthouse has a back entrance,”…
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METRO ATLANTA FAMILY COMPLETES ANNUAL PILGRIMAGE TO HOLY LAND OF ELLIJAY, RETURNS WITH SIX APPLES AND 400 PHOTOS
ELLIJAY, GA — Following months of spiritual preparation, wardrobe coordination, and extensive Pinterest research, a Metro Atlanta family has successfully…
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SECRET SERVICE WARNS TRUMP THAT NORTH GEORGIA RESIDENTS WILL ASK WHERE HE WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL
DALTON, GA — With President Donald Trump scheduled to visit Dalton on Friday, October 16, the United States Secret Service…
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